A Graphical Recording of the Cardiac Cycle

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I’d still hit it.

K.

dude, you worked out my ploy - of using anonymity to get in yer pants lol i’m just saying maybe the average guy would have to work OT just to get a shot at hello ;?) i don’t mean anything bad by this, just…it seems like an awful lot of work. lol oh and i could morph back back into the world of “knowing who i am” if you’d like. ;?)

I took it as a compliment, but you’re right, I don’t go for people I find average. No point in that.

i was only at my five year high school reunion for about an hour, and i had one foot out the door the whole time. my parents had pressured me into it, though i suspect that this was mostly because my father wanted the “time capsule” that had been sitting in our attic since my senior prom out of their house. class presidents get to keep the “time capsule” for some reason. did i ever tell you i was senior class president in high school? yeah, that’s another ridiculous story unto itself. none of these kids had changed that much in five years. the same cliques were standing around together as you would find at a high school dance. i got a lot of “hey, mister president!” and “what, no green hair anymore?” from people who could tell you what i looked like in high school, but definitely weren’t my friends. this is/was the problem with being class president; everyone thinks they know you, even if you don’t know them at all. to this day, there’s about twenty kids out of three hundred-something in my yearbook i swear i never saw once in my years at AHS. i wound up chatting with a friend who i did know well enough to refer to as such. she hadn’t gone far, but was happy with her job working in the next town over. personally, i couldn’t wait to get out of the hometown. the idea of living there after getting out of high school was totally foreign to me. but she seemed alright with it. diff’rent strokes and all that. at some point in the conversation, i realized she was flirting with me. i was equal parts flattered and weirded out. i’ve watched enough movies about people going home for their high school reunions to know about the whole “unfulfilled conquests” dynamic. was i her missed opportunity? did she harbor some sort of desire to seduce me to make up for not doing so in high school? too weird, anyway. i politely ducked out and caught my train back to the city. at some point this year, i was thinking about this event (probably while watching “grosse point blank” again), and trying to think if i had any unfulfilled conquests of my own. i could think of a few from college, but none as far back as high school. a couple crappy exes, a few boyhood crushes, but no one i felt the need to conquer, y’know? and then the other day, i was looking on facebook under “people you may know” and there she was. erika with a k. i don’t know if i had just blocked her out of my head to avoid admitting the failure to myself, or if i had just forgotten in the decade-plus since i had seen her. but there she was, connected to me through a few high school pals who had found me on the internet. she looked about the same in the one picture i could see. she’d grown out of the heavy eyeliner phase. she still looked good. i always thought of her as that line from jawbreaker’s song, chemistry: “two grades below, she pierced her nose way before it was cool”. the iconic punk rock lolita, there was always a nice sexual tension between us that seventeen year old me had no idea what to do with. i’m sure i could find some terrible poetry and ranting in my old zine notebooks about her if i looked. she wound up going out with a stoner friend of mine, and i always kinda hated him for it. teenagers are petty like that. in the end, i decided not to write her. couldn’t think of anything to say that didn’t seem creepy. it was entertaining enough for me to know that i was like everyone else, i had romantic regrets left over from high school, after all. so how about you? any lingering high school crushes burning in the back of your mind? anticipating awkward moments at your tenth?

Funny you should ask me about this. There was a kid in high school I always had a little bit of a crush on but never did anything about it. I didn’t know him very well (or at all really). We had a couple mutual friends, but he was one of the only people in high school who actually intimidated me. He was one of those mysterious rebel-types who kind of existed on the fringe of high school society. I doubt anyone I was friends with could even guess who I’m talking about.

Last week, out of nowhere, I had a dream about him.

Out of curiosity, I looked him up on Facebook and discovered he’s not nearly as attractive or intriguing as he was to me in high school, so all the romance of the situation was deflated pretty quickly.

And by “romance” I mean “creepy dreams that turn me into a stalker.”

Tell me something I have never heard. Ask me anything your heart desires.